Lord Bonkers' Diary: Not Terribly Bright middle-class children

A second day at Bonkers Hall.

Tuesday

It is strange how new policies come to prominence. Until recently, we Liberal Democrats devoted all our efforts to helping the poor, but today a new cause has become popular amongst us – that of Not Terribly Bright middle-class children. If you don’t support giving thousands of pounds to Not Terribly Bright middle-class children so that they can go to university, then you are no Liberal Democrat, or so some would tell you. These Not Terribly Bright middle-class children throng the streets, occupy libraries (which may, in all fairness, do them some good) and force the cancellation of political conferences.

I am all in favour of higher education, and regard the Department of Hard Sums of the University of Rutland at Belvoir as one of the jewels in our national crown, but do we need quite so many universities as we have these days? They choke our cities, ruin our public houses and force the working class into exile. When I have thousands of pounds to hand out in this way I prefer to dig wells in Africa, house the homeless and – one must move with the times – buy shoes for the Well-Behaved Orphans. No doubt I shall now be picketed by Not Terribly Bright middle-class children myself.

Previously at Bonkers Hall...
 
Monday: Lembit in the jungle