Lord Bonkers' Diary: There were extra buns for tea

Our prime minister always seems to come off second best when encountering children and games. His visit to the Bonkers' Home for Well-Behaved Orphans was no exception.

I suspect the little inmates' facility at cards owes something to Beachcomber's Narkover.

Saturday

Did you see that picture of the prime minister shaking hands on a bet with the detestable Piers Morgan? Hardly statesmanlike behaviour, was it? You’d never have caught Mr Gladstone having a Yankee on the Berlin Conference on Africa, the Anglo Egyptian War, the Naval Estimates and the Panjdeh incident, would you? 

In truth, though, I have long been aware of a certain innocence in Sunak when it comes to gambling. When he was a newly elected MP, I invited him to visit my Home for Well-Behaved Orphans, and then made the mistake of leaving him alone with the young inmates. By the time I rescued him he had lost all his spare change at three-card brag and was about to surrender his shirt. Of course, I had to pretend to be furious, but there were extra buns for tea.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• The former headquarters of the Association of Liberal Councillors
• “Ed doesn’t approve of thinking"
• The Cricklewood Crinkles and the Wolverhampton Wotsits
• The noted woman crime novelist Dame Agatha Mousetrap
• Mountains of unsold Stilton