All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away kit

I was disappointed in yesterday's News of the World. I bought if for the scandal, only to find that it did not give the names of the three Premiership clubs that Sven had accused of corrupt transfer dealings.

There was also something about a chap called Oaten, and a detail of that story caught my eye:

"Before one session he rang several times asking if I'd dress up in a football strip for him. He really seemed to enjoy himself that night."

This seemed strangely familiar. And, of course, it was because a similar detail appeared in the papers when David Mellor's affair with Antonia de Sancha was revealed in 1992. Only that time it was the politician who was wearing the football kit, leading to the widespread joke that Mellor was one of the few people to score in a Chelsea strip that year.

As Max Clifford is believed to be not unconnected with either of these stories, it makes you wonder who it is who is really entranced by the idea of sex in soccer kit.

For all I know this may be a widespread fetish. Maybe there are lots of people who are turned on by wearing, say, the 1994-5 Rotherham United away strip.

Those who are really unlucky are the lovers moved by Manchester United strips. Imagine how much it must cost to own them all.