Lord Bonkers' Diary: Coaching Nick Clegg

First it was Tuesday. Now it's:

Wednesday
I am called to Cowley Street to give our new leader the benefit of my long expression of dealing with the media.

I begin by asking Clegg what he will do if he is challenged in the House on a ticklish policy point – perhaps involving schools. “That’s easy,” he replies brightly. “I shall throw up my hands and then issue a formal complaint.”

And when he is confronted by one of the nation’s leading political interviewers? “I’ve got a soundbite I am rather fond of; it went down very well with Nick Robinson. It goes like this: ‘Yes, er well no, hang on, er, sorry’.”

Clegg is an engaging fellow with much of the wholesome appeal of a Labrador puppy, but he would do well to sign up for the Extended Bonkers Media Course (easy terms available).