Lord Bonkers' Diary: Brian Paddick's campaign song

Tuesday

One of the most important elements in any political campaign is a rousing song and I flatter myself that I have a good ear for finding the right song for any particular candidate. It was I, for instance, who chose ‘See the Conquering Hero Comes’ for Paddy Ashplant at Yeovil in 1983.

When urged to perform a similar service for Brian Paddick in the recent London Mayoral election, I naturally asked around to find out more about the fellow and was successful in gleaning two important pieces of information.

The first was that he used to be a policeman – which is a definite plus for his campaign as our “boys in blue” are a fine body of men, even if they can be a little overenthusiastic in carrying out their duties (I recall Boat Race night one year…). The second was that he was gay, which is also promising – we can do with all the jolly politicians we can get!

Putting these two pieces of gen together, I soon came up with the perfect song. So those of you who rode on an open-top bus with Paddick through Southall or along Brick Lane as the gramophone played ‘The Laughing Policeman’ now know whom to thank.

Now read Monday: Lembit in the fountain.