Liberator 326 arrives, which means it is time to start posting Lord Bonkers' latest diary. This involves starting with Monday on Thursday, but I am sure we can all cope with that.Monday
There is something about the great European capitals that makes the heart beat a little faster. London. Paris. Oakham. The very sound of them is exciting.
I have spent the past few days in another of those cities: Rome. While I am enjoying an espresso at a pavement café beside the Trevi Fountain, a familiar trio hoves into view: I hide myself behind the Gazzetta dello Sport and observe what ensues.
Lembit Öpik, for it is he, has a Cheeky Girl on each arm – much as a condemned man has a warder on each arm. “Mr Lembit, you marry us now,” one Girl carols. When he does not reply, the other cries: “You get lucky coin for us now, Mr Lembit,” and between them they tip the poor fellow head first into the water.
This goes on a few times until their engagement is announced. I can confirm the press reports that the Member for Montgomery is in tears when the episode is at an end.
A medical man told me that, while identical twins usually have identical DNA on today's quality of testing (surprisingly, DNA can apparently change throughout your life), you can tell the difference by looking into their eyes. So Lembit should be safe in the knowledge of knowing which is which (unless he is forgetful of course).
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