In fact, this gives me the chance to say that the Star is a very good local newspaper. It's just that you suspect there isn't quite enough news in the county to justify a daily paper. Hence the inconsequential stories it prints, which I delight in passing on to you.
The Star also has a pleasing habit, when you buy the printed version, of mixing local, national and international stories on the same page. Like Forrest Gump, you never know what you're gonna get.
Anyway, the Star has now found room for this story:
It would be unfair to mention magic mushrooms (for which the Welsh border is well known) or Bishop's Castle ale at this point.Mr Hoyle, of the Shrewsbury-based [UFO Investigation and Research] unit, said: “We have got a highly active area in the Hope and Rea Valley near Bishop’s Castle and Ludlow where we continually have sightings from farmers.
“We have farmers who are not renowned for flights of fancy telling us of lights and discs over their farms.”
He added: “There are about 35 people in these valleys that claim to have been involved in abduction over the last 20 years and they are all unrelated.
“They are all professional people and they are all saying the same thing - something is going on here.”
Hi my name is Martin. I was abducted by aliens when I turned 13. They raped my anal cavity and punctured my cervix. Oddly enough, ever since than I have now been able to jump extremely high. I was even able to dunk a basketball at 14 years old. The odd thing is, I did not grow, I just noticed my leg muscles began to get extremely built after I was raped by the aliens. Has anyone ever heard of any rare event, where some testing has gotten results such as my jumping ability after I was anally raped by aliens?
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Martin (AIM Screenname - uknomastatus)