Lord Bonkers' Diary: Rogered by a past winner of the 2,000 Guineas

The new issue of Liberator is with subscribers, so it is time to pass another week at Bonkers Hall.

Monday

What a splendid fellow Prince William is! Tall, upstanding and brave, he has a delightful wife and his wife’s sister has a bottom like a Cox’s Orange Pippin. He even rescued some Russian sailors in his helicopter the other day. The only drawback is that it has to be admitted that he does look remarkably like a horse – I am told that, when the winch failed in that rescue, he let down his silky tail and lifted the last man to safety himself.

So much does he resemble a horse that I have no alternative but to conclude that the story – widely circulated in my young day – that Queen Mary was rogered by a past winner of the 2,000 Guineas after a particularly jolly party at Newmarket is true after all.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10