Lord Bonkers' Diary: When banks Go Too Far

The new issue of Liberator is with subscribers, so it is time to spend another week in the company of Rutland's most celebrated fictional peer.


Monday

If I were asked to put my finger upon the point at which the Bank of Rutland showed it had got too big for its boots, I should say it was when it started demanding an annual tribute of seven youths and seven maidens from its customers. We had become used to the inflated salaries it paid its directors and its sniffy attitude if the dividend on a chap’s Rutland Oil shares was late in arriving, but it was generally agreed that this last step was Going Too Far.

I therefore welcome this new climate in which the practices of banks are being questioned – as far as I am concerned, the more inquiries that are held the better. Thank goodness we have a Sound fellow serving as Business Secretary! I blush to recall that we used to call him ‘Low-Voltage’ Cable. No one would call him that today.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West, 1906-10