Lord Bonkers' Diary: "I cannot tell a lie"

Early morning sees the Bonkers Hall Estate thronged with civil libertarians hunting for Clegg. Only a few hours later, they are joined by the students. I have to fire my twelve-bore when they threatened to walk on my cricket pitch, but otherwise I turn a blind eye to their depredations.

Out for a walk this afternoon, I find that they have cornered the very same Well-Behaved Orphan who took Clegg his supper yesterday. Naturally, I move in to rescue the little fellow, who has something of the young Christopher Robin about him.

“Now, my boy,” I ask him, “do you remember that the story I told you the other day? The one about George Washington and the cherry tree and about how a chap should always tell the truth No Matter What? Oh and here’s a shilling: I think sixpence was a bit mean, what with inflation and the price of gobstoppers.”

He assures me he does, and as I walk away I hear him lisping: “I cannot tell a lie: he is in the boathouse.”

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• Telling The Truth
• Nick Clegg in the boathouse
• The students are revolting
• A particularly civil civil libertarian