Lord Bonkers' Diary: On the roof of St Asquith’s

The latest issue of Liberator is with subscribers, so let's spend another week with Rutland's most celebrated parliamentarian.

Saturday

I write these lines on the roof of St Asquith’s, where I have set up my command post. As you have no doubt read, in recent days Rutland has suffered a succession of earthquakes and someone had to restore calm and public order. People have taken to referring to me as “Gold Leader,” which has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?

The Revd Hughes has reacted badly to the quakes: he now reads the Book of Revelation obsessively and has made more than one unkind remark about my old friend Ruttie, the Rutland Water Monster – or “The Beast”, as he has taken to calling her.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.