Lord Bonkers' Diary: "Row Splits Liberal Party"

Wednesday

I recall my excitement after the February 1974 general election when I realised its outcome meant that the Liberal Party once again had enough MPs to put out a rowing eight. I wasted no time in signing us up for Henley, though my decision was not without controversy: I recall the headline “Row Splits Liberal Party” appeared in one of Fleet Street’s more prominent organs.

I remain, however, convinced I was right, for a party that pulls together pulls together, what? As to a cox, I generally being a Well-Behaved Orphan along – they tend not to be on the chubby side and can be handy with a catapult if the other crew attempts to take our water.

The result earlier this year was dreadful, but not so bad that we cannot still form an eight, so this morning I had them out on the Thames for training. Seven were doing their best, but I noticed that Clegg had his feet up and was reading the Sheffield Star.

“Put your back into it, man,” I call through my megaphone as I cycle along the towpath. “I want to give Tim Farron space to build his team without having to look over his shoulder,” Clegg calls back. “I am sure he would rather you put your back into it,” I reply shortly.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.


Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary...

Tuesday: Straight Outta Nick Compton