Lord Bonkers' foreword to the new Liberator songbook

With the Glee Club about to get underway at the Liberal Democrat Conference in Brighton, it is time to share this with you...

Bonkers Hall

Tel. Rutland 7

Are we downhearted, fellow Liberal Democrats? No we are not!

Every day brings news of fresh triumphs. Why, only last week I read on Liberal Democrat Voice that we had come second in a parish council election in Cropwell Bishop.

With our clear stance on Europe – exemplified by that splendid new group ‘I’m As Much In Favour Of The EU As The Next Man But Did You See The Referendum Result In My Constituency?’ – I have no doubt that we shall return to government before we grow much older.

So we have good reason to sing tonight.

Just look at the pitiful opposition we face. The prime minister resembles the ink monitor in a particularly savage girls’ grammar school, while her chancellor must be the most insignificant figure to occupy 11 Downing Street since… What was the fellow’s name?

Someone asked me the other day what I thought of Brexit. I replied that I had always found his plays Terribly Dull. All that stuff about peasants and then an actor shouts at you just as you are dozing off.

Now it seems we need three ministers to deal with the fellow. I can’t see the point myself, but if he is so important why put the three stooges in charge?

And then there is the Labour Party. Can you see Corbyn and ‘Semtex’ McDonnell carrying Middle England?

I cannot either. Come to that, I can’t even see them carrying their own MPs.

So be of good cheer, fellow Liberal Democrats, and sing your hearts out.

The book before you contains all the songs you need to enjoy the Glee Club – many of them printed in a different order from last year’s edition.

The only sour note is the omission of that popular Rutland anthem ‘Hurrah for Lord Bonkers’, which is traditionally sung by the Well-Behaved Orphans when they are brought to St Asquith’s to return thanks to their benefactor.

The first verse runs:

"Hurrah for Lord Bonkers,
Who feeds us on gruel;
He’s ever so jolly
And not at all cruel."

Still, I suppose it will have to do.

Bonkers