Former Freemason, 51, found drunk and naked inside a huge pipe organ with a toy gun and remote-controlled police car says he got lost while trying to hand out cheeseburgers to the homeless

By general acclamation among my Twitter followers, the Daily Mail wins this blog's prestigious Headline of the Day Award.

Strictly speaking, the decision was up to the judges. But, hearing the mob baying at the gates, they soon caved in.