Lord Bonkers' Diary: Marching for a People's Vote

The old boy's refuses to see his village in Rutland left behind by events in London.

Saturday

Were you on that march for a ‘people’s vote’ in London the other week? What fun it was! The only fly in the ointment was that the sheer numbers who turned out made progress desperately slow. I was therefore pleased that I had decided to come in a motorised bath chair painted in British racing green and equipped with a two-tone horn. That certainly scattered the laggards!

So much did I enjoy the day that I staged my own march here this morning. The village folk turned out for in force, as did my staff and tenants. (The latter’s rents fall due on Lady Day, incidentally.) After two laps of the village and an excursion into my deer park, we assembled outside the Bonkers’ Arms.

I gave an address on the importance of European unity and the threat posed by imports of cheap, chlorine-washed pork pies from America, before handing over to young Farron. After a decent interval of several minutes, I dived inside the pub for a fortifying pint of Smithson & Greaves Northern Bitter.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.