Lord Bonkers' Diary: There I swing from bough to bough

Have we heard the last of Lord Bonkers' gorilla costume? 

I sincerely hope so, but it's not yet the season for bonfires and the odds must be that it will crop up again sooner or later.

Thursday

You may think it odd of me, but there are still times when I feel more comfortable as a gorilla. It is refreshing to cast off the world of anger and telegrams, put on the old suit and head for one of my coverts. There I swing from bough to bough without a care in the world. 

Sad to report, as I slinked in through the French windows this evening, a parlour maid caught site of me. "Oh my gawd!" she shrieked. "Someone’s gone and caught that monkey pox good and proper." I hastened to the safety of my quarters and changed back into human garb.

It will pain me, but tomorrow I shall hand my gorilla costume to a slightly sulky Meadowcroft and order him to burn it on his next bonfire.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers' Diary

• When Penny and Kemi banged Rishi’s head on the floor
• The Revd Hughes has taken refuge in the crypt beneath St Asquith’s
• Every Tuesday evening at a discreet establishment in Roehampton