Lord Bonkers' Diary: Jacob Rees-Mogg in the Og

"Our dear Queen is safely interred with her ancestors," remarked Lord Bonkers this morning, "so I think we can tell the world about the Conservatives' beastliest fund-raising idea yet."

"You're sure this is true?" I asked. "I have agents everywhere," came the reply. 

Tuesday

Disgusting as the state of our waterways is, it could have been far worse. I have it on good authority that the Conservatives recently considered a fund-raising push under which their branches would have been able, for a fee, to have a leading light of the party take their daily rear in a local river. 

So it might have been Simon Hart in the River Dart, Theresa May in the Tay or Jacob Rees-Mogg in the Og. 

The whole idea, thank the Lord, has been suspended sine die - and I shall never again moan about being touched for a raffle prize. (I don’t mean touching me is the prize, though there was one occasion in Saffron Walden....)

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers Diary...

• He's looking down on us and not saying a word about it