Lord Bonkers' Diary: No camel could have sacrificed his penis in a finer cause

The new Liberator has dropped, as the young people put it, so it's time to spend another week with Rutland's most celebrated fictional peer.

Monday

Eventually, even the humiliation of one’s enemies palls, and I am no longer watching that extraordinary new series of Hancock’s Half Hour set in the jungle. (Besides, have you seen the price of telephone calls these days?) 

Nevertheless, I still maintain that no camel could have sacrificed his penis in a finer cause than making Matt Hancock feel thoroughly sick. Did you know the man has left a wife and three children, one of them adopted? 

That’s why I would never allow one of the Well-Behaved Orphans to be taken into the household of a Conservative Cabinet minister. However, if you are not a Tory bigwig then you are welcome to email your enquiry to sales@homeforwellbehavedorphans.rut.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.