Cheltenham woman finds fish dinner still alive seconds before she prepares it for tea

The judges grumbled about Gloucestershire Live not being able to make its mind up about what to call the meal in question, but that didn't stop them awarding the site our Headline of the Day Award.

This story - it has a happy ending - reminds me of an old Liberal Revue joke:

First Carp: I survived 'Nam.

Second Carp; Vietnam?

First Carp: Nope, Chelten 'Nam.