Lord Bonkers' Diary: We no longer teach even the half Opik

The new issue of Liberator has been posted on the magazine's website, so hurry there to download it for free - it's issue 417. But before you do, it's time to read the first entry in another week's Lord Bonkers' Diary.

Jokes about Liberal Democrats and pointing are commonplace these days, but to leaven this entry I have included a tweet of mine which shows the very pothole the old boy is talking about.

Monday

Like all responsible landowners, I pride myself on keeping my farms, fences and roads in tip-top condition; you will find but one pothole on the whole of the Bonkers Hall Estate. That pothole, let me explain at once, has been intentionally left so that Liberal Democrat activists from across Britain can come to Rutland for their advanced pointing training. 

It is here that they learn such specialist techniques as the Single Chamberlain, Double Chamberlain, Reverse Morgan (with and without twist) and Full Carmichael - this last is invaluable on single-track roads with passing places. (In the light of the latest advice from Harley Street, we no longer teach even the half Opik.) 

For months our courses have been fully booked, but as polling day is almost upon us, no activists will arrive for a week or two. I spend the day auditioning Jack Russell terriers to deliver my new letterbox training, provisionally titled 'How to deliver Focus and live.'

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

This is the pothole Lord Bonkers uses to train Liberal Democrat activists in advanced pointing techniques. It's the only one to be found on the whole of the Bonkers Hall Estate. pic.twitter.com/9tAgxT66GH

— Jonathan Calder (@lordbonkers) April 7, 2023