Lord Bonkers' Diary: Dominic Sandboy’s ‘What My Housemaster Told Me About The Seventies’

I love happy endings and I expect you do too. No doubt there will be more from Lord Bonkers in the new year.

Sunday

Over a post-service Amontillado, I try to persuade the Revd Hughes to stand for Archbishop of Canterbury. He’s never happier than when on his hind legs, and would look good in the frocks, but I fear my blandishments fall on stony ground. 

After the roast beef and Yorkshire p., I hunker down in my library. I can’t get on with Dominic Sandboy’s ‘What My Housemaster Told Me About the Seventies’, but a telephone call brings good news. Sixteen of Danny Chambers’ penguins sailed from Oakham Quay this afternoon and will be home in the South Atlantic for Christmas. 

I say sixteen because one of them has discovered a vocation and chosen to stay at Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes. I feel sure he will prosper there.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers' Diary

• ‘The Defenestration of Ming Campbell’
• Pimped with underglow lights and belting out Hildegard of Bingen at full volume
• I catch Jennie rolling her eyes and feel a little ashamed
• The prime minister was having an affair with Stanley
• They have failed to seize control of Belvoir Castle
• “I’m not paying that for a corn pone”