Lord Bonkers' Diary: Meeting Count Binface in Westminster

I don't know if Nick Clegg does have a Dutch uncle, but there must be every chance.

Tuesday

Who should I meet in Westminster but Count Binface? Having long wished to talk to him like a Dutch uncle – Nick Clegg, incidentally, has a literal Dutch uncle – I invite him to lunch at my club. 

There I tell him I have been through the Almanach de Gotha twice and can find no mention of a Binface family. I realise that inventing an aristocratic title for yourself makes it easier to cash a cheque, but if an Oxbridge comedian’s career has stalled, there are recognised ways for him to earn some money. 

I urge him: “Either write a children’s book, man, or get the BBC to make you the chairman of a panel show.”

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

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