Lord Bonkers Diary: Desert Island Discs

Thursday
Poor Clegg is a bit under the cosh at the moment, not least because of his failure to adopt the cause of Not Terribly Bright middle-class children. Even his appearance on Desert Island Discs caused controversy when he chose the odd packet of Woodbines as his luxury. (When I appeared on this show, I chose Dame Anna Neagle as mine. I had to send Roy Plomley a case of particularly fine claret to get him to agree to the idea, but I am happy to report the investment proved well worth it.)

I was not surprised by Clegg’s choice as I was one of the few listeners who already knew that he smoked. That was because I organised a boat trip on Rutland Water for the Liberal Democrat Parliamentary Party last summer, during which we were marooned on an island by an unseasonal storm. After we had built a camp (under my supervision), I found Clegg enjoying a cigarette.

“How did you manage to light it?” I asked.

“It was easy,” he replied. “I stole Danny Alexander’s glasses.”

Previously at Bonkers Hall...

Monday: Lembit in the jungle
Tuesday: Not Terribly Bright middle-class children
Wednesday: Oh, those Russians!