Lord Bonkers' Diary: Larry at 10 Downing Street

A fifth day in the company of Rutland's most famous peer.

Friday

Though they are too independent to be much use on the hunting field, I have a soft spot for cats – I recall giving a scientist fellow called Schrodinger the bum’s rush after he tried carrying out an experiment on the stables tabby. Because of this, I have long been a donor to the Battersea Cats Home (a sort of Home for Well-Behaved Orphans of the feline world) and was delighted to see one of our alumni, Larry, employed as Official Mouser at 10 Downing Street.

”Cor lumme!” he remarks when I meet him this afternoon, ”I’ve fallen on me paws an’ no mistake. Ol’ Smoothy Chops knows ’ow to put a spread on an’ it’s all free for yours truly.”

When he adds ”Mind you, you should ’ear the language he uses about that Foxy geezer,” I realise that I may have found a substitute for the tramps of St James’s Park.

Previously on Lord Bonkers' Diary

• The tramps of St James's Park
• A regiment of teachers
• The Gareth Chilcott Inquiry
• Lembit Opik on Arjen Robben Island