Lord Bonkers' Diary: 3/6 a bottle from Boot’s in Uppingham

Not only was there really a Wise Woman of Wing, but legend persists that it was indeed possible to buy her pills and potions in Boot's of Uppingham well into the 20th century.

Friday

Despite the Wise Woman of Wing’s excellent embrocation (3/6 a bottle from Boot’s in Uppingham), I will admit to being a little on the stiff side these days to have made Gareth Southgate’s final 26. So it was little hardship for me to announce my personal sporting boycott of Qatar, but cricket is another matter. 

For some years now my own eleven has opened its season with a chilly April fixture against a team selected by the President of China. Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that the Chinese government’s persecution of the Uighurs leaves me with no choice but to abandon the fixture. 

Today, therefore, I have written to the Chinese Ambassador withdrawing my invitation. There will no Lord Bonkers’ XI v. President Xi’s XI next spring.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• No camel could have sacrificed his penis in a finer cause
• "A mulligatawny is pleasantly warming at this time of year"
• "What about the Young People?"
• The Marxist Groupuscules XI