Lord Bonkers' Diary: "What about the Young People?"

Lord Bonkers' grasp of history may not be exactly secure: I have read that Saxon England was just as dominated by the aristocracy as Norman England was to be. 

But, as so often, he's right about present-day British politics.

Wednesday

Who should I meet in Westminster but our own Ed Davey? He is full of a new policy he has announced: "You know how we’re targeting middle-class voters in affluent seats in the South of England?" he asks. "Well, I’ve decided to step that up. In future, if I come across someone who owns a house in Guildford or Wimbledon then I shall hand them a plump cheque to go towards the cost of their mortgage." 

I fear I am rather short with him: "What about the Young People and the rents they have to pay? Are you going to give them cheques too?" 

However, I save my strongest point till last. “What about people who have no mortgage costs because an ancestor had the good sense to come over with the Conqueror and extort a vast estate of prime East Midland agricultural land from the Saxon peasantry? Why should they be penalised?” 

I flatter myself that I leave him with plenty to chew on.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• No camel could have sacrificed his penis in a finer cause
• "A mulligatawny is pleasantly warming at this time of year"