Lord Bonkers' Diary: The Archbishop of York, two page boys and the gospel choir

Australian tours of England really did use to begin with a one-day fixture at Arundel against the Duke of Norfolk's XI. And 1953 was an Ashes summer, so this exchange could well have happened just as Lord Bonkers reports it.

Saturday

To Westminster Abbey for the Coronation of Charles III and to swear my allegiance (provided he keeps his hands off the Ancient Liberties of Rutland, of course). I also swore at his mother’s Coronation, but only because the Duke of Norfolk trod on my heel after I offered some pithy observations on the XI he had selected to play the Australians in their tour opener at Arundel that year. 

The Duke was a left-footer. I don’t mean he was a Roman Catholic (though he was, as are many of my friends - including the Pope, incidentally): I mean that he trod on me with his left foot. 

A woman called Mad-Aunt appears as a warrior princess – I don’t recall any such character in 1953, though the first Lady Bonkers did hurry from rehearsing Brünnhilde at Covent Garden to join me at George V’s Coronation. I am relieved this time that no one has given Liz Truss a sword: she would surely have taken out the Archbishop of York, two page boys and the gospel choir.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• We no longer teach even the half Opik
• Much fun may be had from a pig sty
• Who’ll look silly then?
• My tenants arrive at the Hall to collect their Good Morning leaflets
• A chain of beacons would bring news of Liberal triumphs