Lord Bonkers' Diary: The woods, meadows and hedgerows of the Bonkers Hall Estate

I thought the sisters from Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes might turn up again. If you're wondering whether they are Catholic or Protestant, an open or a closed order, then the answer is that they are Church of Rutland.

And they have clearly watched The Sound of Music too.

Thursday

The wet summer means the woods, meadows and hedgerows of the Bonkers Hall Estate are positively brimming with flowers and herbs. Not only will you find the Wise Woman of Wing and the Elves of Rockingham Forest out gathering them, you may also encounter the sisters from Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes. 

As well as distilling the most delicious liqueur from the booty of their foraging – I call at their convent in the wilds of High Leicestershire this morning to top up my stocks – they can be relied upon to sabotage the engine of the opposition’s agent’s car in a particularly tight by-election. 

Later, I visit one of the inns on Oakham Quay to catch up with the gossip. It was here that I heard the Conservative press gang was out looking for men (and indeed women) to drag off to be parliamentary candidates and realised that Sunak’s surprise election had come as a surprise most of all to his own party.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers' Diary

• We drank the Bonkers’ Arms dry
• Practising with the Elves of Rockingham Forest
• Some unfair coverage in the tabloid press