John Reid meets Chris Morris

The Guardian reported this morning:

Prisoners from countries outside the European Economic Area (EEA ) - which comprises the 25 EU nations plus Norway, Iceland and Liechtenstein - will be offered a package worth between £500 and £2,500 to go home, rather than face detention while they are considered for deportation.

Nick Clegg asked:

"What has the Home Secretary been doing for the last six months if his efforts to solve the foreign prisoner crisis now amount to a vague pledge to sort the problem out by next spring, and an even vaguer plan to bribe them to go back home?

But I was reminded of Chris Morris's Brass Eye and his cashback scheme for criminals:

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STUDIO: (David Compression, the interviewer, and "Mad" Frankie Fraser on either side of a desk, current affairs interview style)

CM: "Up NEXT... A new scheme, for young offenders."

DC: "Take the cashback scheme, that they're gonna try in Toxteth, where young offenders are on a fourteen-week sentence - costs about two grand a week to keep them in - so rather than spend twenty-eight grand to keep them inside, they give them twenty-five grand, and say "here you are, use that, for a positive reason."

TITLE: ("Mad" Frankie Fraser, ex gangster)

MFF: "I think that's a smashing idea. Yeah, I do, honestly."

DC: "If someone had done that to you, what would have happened?"

MFF: "I don't think you'd have ever heard of me again."

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STUDIO:(David Compression, the interviewer, and Sir Rhodes Boyson on either side of a desk, current affairs interview style)

DC: "Do you think perhaps enlisting somebody like Richard Branson to sell the cashback scheme... _might_ just work, might just get through to them."

RB: "I wouldn't say no to that."

DC: "I suppose if there was an element of... stick, you know - Richard Branson up in a balloon, watching the situation and saying, "there's your twenty-six thousand pounds, but I'm watching you from a balloon, and I can see a very long way.""

RB: "I'd go along with that."

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INTRO SEQUENCE: END OF PART ONE