Good evening from the Ballroom at Bonkers Hall. It is used for numerous functions throughout the year - that's a lot of balls - but surely none as glamorous as tonight's ceremony?
The cream of Rutland society is mingling with the great and good of the Liberal Democrats. On the stairs, the elves of Rockingham Forest are attempting to share a joke with Sarah Teather. Through the French windows I can see Meadowcroft chasing stray guests off his lawn with a broom.
In a few minutes the winner of the quiz will be drawn from the correct entries received. Lord Bonkers has decided to ask Vince Cable to make the draw: someone suggested asking Jeremy Hunt, but his Lordship replied that he wanted someone he trusted to be impartial.
But first the answers to the questions:
1. Which magazine did Boris Johnson edit between 1999 and 2005? - The Spectator
2. Which Westminster constituency did he sit for between 2001 and 2008? - Henley
3. What did Johnson call "an inverted pyramid of piffle"? - Accusations of an affair with Petronella Wyatt
4. Which city did he describe as "too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs"? - Portmouth
5. Which London Borough of Camden primary school did both Boris Johnson and the Miliband brothers attend? - Primrose Hill
Now Vince Cable is rummaging among the correct emails that have been tipped into Lord Bonkers' second-best top hat. And the winner he has picked is...
Jim Kelleher
Congratulations to him and thanks to everyone who entered.
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