Lord Bonkers' Diary: Send for the honey badger

Another week at Bonkers Hall draws to a close. On the whole, I think that is just as well.

Saturday

What to do about Heath? He is the most engaging of fellows, but the badgers and I simply cannot put up with him any longer.

I walk by the shores of Rutland Water seeking inspiration and it duly dawns. On my last trip to South Africa, I was taken to see a vicious creature called the honey badger – so vicious, indeed, that it is known to bring down its prey by biting off the male member. I should like to see Heath take him on! Certainly, I took the precaution of wearing my own Extra Heavy-Duty Cricketers’ Box for Use on Green Minor Counties’ Wickets (patent pending) throughout the visit.

Sure enough, I find the honey badger’s card in my pocket book and hurry to the woody bank beneath the Ornamental Arch where I happen to drop it.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary:

• The King of the Badgers
• "Beardies, weirdies, beardy-weirdies, weirdy-beardies"
• David Heath at the Hall
• "Befangled with ballistics"
• Biffing the badgers
• "I’ll take this bazooka just in case"