Sunday, April 27, 2014
Lord Bonkers' Diary: Behind the scenes at Clegg vs Farage
Last week’s debate with M. Farage, the Frenchman who leads the UKIP Party, went tolerably well for our own Nick Clegg, but I am called in this morning to help brief him for this evening’s second contest. I come armed with a particularly fine specimen of the orchard doughty – the sturdy, rugged staffs which I issue to my gamekeepers (for dealing with poachers) and tenant farmers (so that, red-faced and panting, they can wave them whist ineffectually chasing scrumpers).
“The very first time he tries to be clever,” I tell Clegg, “give him one across the snoot with this”. “Oh, I don’t think Nick should attack his opponent,” sneers one of the 12-year-old PPE graduates with whom our leader insists on surrounding himself these days. “I don’t mean Farage, you booby,” I return shortly, “I mean Dimbleby.”
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.
Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary...