Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Lord Bonkers' Diary: A game of by-elections


Though the wheways have arrived and are eyeing the hamwees suspiciously as they select the best sites for nests, it prove necessary to cancel this afternoon’s natural ramble with the Well-Behaved Orphans. Industrial fumes from the Continent and the sand blown in from deserts in the arid south of Rutland make the air unpleasant to breathe, and Matron is quite adamant on the subject. Her remarks on my own oil rigs on Rutland Water, however, and both unkind and ill-founded.

Instead, I lead the little mites in a game of by-elections. In the most enjoyable of ways this entertainment of my own devising instructs the young in delivering, canvassing, good committee room practice and the efficient deployment of the Bonkers Patent Exploding Focus (for use in marginal wards). The winning team kidnaps the returning officer and forces him to sign a false declaration of result. Isn’t that enterprising?

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary...

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