Monday, August 10, 2015

Lord Bonkers' Diary: The current Lady Bonkers

"The current Lady Bonkers"? The sly old dog: I had no idea!


The telephone is brought to me and on the other end of the line is someone telling me what a fine fellow Norman Lamb is and what a poor specimen Farron is. Lamb, it transpires, is in favour of people being allowed to end their own lives and of equal marriage. Farron, by contrast – or so I am informed – is Fundamentally Unsound.

I draw a long breath: “I have no doubt that what you say is true Grant, or whatever your name is, but I would question what is has to do with the leadership of the Liberal Party. Are we really intending to fight the next election under the slogan 'Vote for us and then top yourself'? I know the results in May were dreadful, but surely they were not that bad?

"As to equal marriage, the current Lady Bonkers and I are very happy. The only chap I would want to marry is Alan Beith and he is spoken for by a charming woman who was an MP in Dorset for a number of years. I bid you good day."

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary...

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