Friday, November 20, 2015

Lord Bonkers' Diary: How the Lib Dems won Loch Ness

How the Lib Dems won Loch Ness

A rare ray of light in the darkness for us Liberal Democrats was our capture of Loch Ness from the Scottish National Party. It would be remiss of me at this point not to pay tribute to the sterling efforts of my old friend Ruttie, the Rutland Water Monster. Her canvassing of the postal vote, I am told by those on the ground, proved particularly effective.

As far as I can gather, what happened was this. If a local has settled down to cast his or, indeed, her postal vote, Ruttie would crane her long neck in through the window. The voter would hover his biro above the box next to the SNP candidate, at which Ruttle would give a distinct curl of the lip. Alarmed, the voter would next try the box next to our candidate, whereupon Ruttie would nod vigorously. I gather she was also extremely helpful in saving the voter the need to take the completed vote to the nearest pillar box.

I shall do all I can to encourage the old girl to help in future by-elections, but I fear there are few wards where she has such a close family connection.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary

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