Lord Bonkers' Diary: "Try one of my setters, they’re milder"

Today is our last day for a while in the company of Rutland most celebrated fictional peer. How long ago the start of the general election campaign now seems.

Saturday

I spend the aboard the Liberal Democrat Battle Bus, visiting some of our best prospects in South West London and taking the opportunity to pick ‘High Voltage’ Cable’s brains about my investments.

I remain convinced that Farron would take the pews out of St Asquith’s and have as all singing ‘Shine, Jesus, Shine’ given half a chance, but he is the most engaging of companions. No wonder the mint cake workers of Kendal vote for him en bloc.

He asks if I would like to smell his spaniel, whereupon I reply: “Try one of my setters, they’re milder.”

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary

• At the top of my hawking tower
• A hard border
• Freddie and Fiona at the New New European
• "Not as strong and stable as she thought"
• Diane Abbott's ‘Coppers for Coppers’ scheme
• What a scandal that was!