Lord Bonkers' Diary: He later entered the Foreign Office

I never fail to be impressed by the way Lord Bonkers keeps up with the latest news - and the latest ways of making money.

Thursday

Did you see that that boys at Uppingham are to be allowed to wear skirts? Things were very different when I was a pupil there, though one of my chums did escape by dressing as Matron and got as far as Houghton on the Hill before the rozzers caught up with him. He later entered the Foreign Office.

You may also have read that my firm Rutland Analytica is accused of swinging the result in the last election in the Bonkers Hall ward. What we did, and you have to admit it was Terribly Clever, was to combine different sources of data and use them to send messages carefully designed to appeal to individual voters.

For instance, by studying the electoral register and the accounts of the Bonkers Hall Estate, we were able to find those for whom the message “Your rent falls due on Lady Day: Vote for Lord Bonkers” was particularly pertinent. Really, I can see nothing wrong with this.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers' Diary:

• Gossip in the Bonkers' Arms
• Behind the falafels
• Protesting against "Protest Trump"