Lords Speech of the Week

Well done to Liz Barker for retailing a Roger Hayes anecdote familiar in Liberator circles in the House of Lords:

Many, many years ago-about 30 years ago-a very good friend of mine, Mr Roger Hayes, left school and went to work as a horticultural trainee for a London council.

One afternoon in the summer he was working away, doing his job in the potting shed, when there was an almighty bang outside the window. He looked out to see flames shooting 30 feet into the air.

He dialled 999 and asked for the fire brigade. It was all going very well until the lady from the emergency services asked him what exactly was on fire. He had to confess that some months earlier, the circus had come to town and had gifted to the local authority three tonnes of exotic animal dung.

It had rested there in the yard at the park and, over time, the methane within it had accumulated to the point at which it spontaneously combusted and was about to set off another major fire.

I think I know how the noble Lord is going to answer about why lion faeces gets a mention in these regulations. That is a true story.