Oxford West and Abingdon
All this talk of holding seats is a little dull: why should we not gain a few?
Take OXWAB, as my younger friends are given to calling it. Whilst I bow to no one in my admiration for Dr Evan Harris, it has to be admitted that his habit of grafting the heads of rabbits on to humans to form an army of Focus deliverers proved controversial, efficient as they were (at least in my experience).
So much so, indeed, that on election night the locals, armed with pitchforks and flaming brands, drove him from his laboratory in the surprisingly mountainous country between Oxford and Abingdon and elected a Conservative.
I trust the more emollient Layla Moran will recapture the seat for the forces of progress, even if she does not own a Bunsen burner.
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West, 1906-10.
Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers' Diary