Lord Bonkers' Diary: "I’ll fetch you one up the bracket"

Yes, what did happen to Liberal Democrat High Command to make it do a reverse ferret on ID cards? Whatever it was, the delightful Hazel Grove got a very sideways move soon afterwards. There's more about this in the Radical Bulletin section of the new Liberator (issue 432).

The derivation of Clarence "Frogman" Willcock was discussed on this blog last year, while "I’ll fetch you one up the bracket" sounds very much the sort of thing Sid James would have said in Hancock's Half Hour.

Wednesday

I don’t know about you, but I find myself increasingly confused over this identity card business. Just before Conference the usually delightful Hazel Grove told us that we should all move with the times and get one of the things; and, though an unadvertised consultation held at four in the morning in a locked church hall in Branksome came out against them, Ed Davey was very keen on the idea at his question-and-answer session at Bournemouth too. 

There, a tame journalist called for a show of hands and claimed that 110 per cent of those present had voted in favour of cards – and that despite my running round the room to vote against from at least five different seats. (This new tonic the Wise Woman of Wing mixed for me is the cat’s pyjamas!) 

Yet as soon as we got back to Westminster, everyone was launching petitions against the aforementioned cards. Faced with this confusion, I cleave to the words of the great Clarence 'Frogman' Wilcock: "I am a Liberal and if you ask to see my card again I’ll fetch you one up the bracket."

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• One of Violent Bonham Carter’s boys
• A phone number for the Overton-Window twins