Lord Bonkers' Diary: Those nuns were the authors of their own misfortune

It seems that my expression of hope that Lord Bonkers is about to return to the political was miscalculated. 

I grant that he is no longer wandering a strangely timeless East Midland landscape with the Elves of Rockingham Forest, but I remain to be convinced that he is yet pointing the way to a Liberal Democrat return to office.

Those nuns were the authors of their own misfortune

When I set out on this odyssey I swore that I would not spend time in a zoo, having unhappy memories of the Bonkers Hall Safari Park and its sudden closure. (I still maintain that those nuns were the authors of their own misfortune.) 

I am, however, glad that I changed my mind upon reaching the West Country: this gorilla costume is warm in the autumn evenings and I have always been fond of bananas. 

The neighbours are charming too - the elephants are happy to trade buns for bananas, I have been invited to take tea with the chimpanzees next Tuesday and I have already signed up two giraffes as Liberal Democrat members.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West. 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary

• Meadowcroft was heard to blow his nose loudly
• "We shall travel by the old roads"
• The beechwoods of the Chilterns
• Mounted elves and vegans
• "You should have stood down in more seats"
• The noted East End gangster and philanthropist