Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Lord Bonkers' Diary: "We shall travel by the old roads"

Yes, the sly old fox had us all fooled. I hope Nanny, who spent weeks knitting him a fisherman's jersey, will not cut up rough.

"We shall travel by the old roads"

I had planned to follow Ashdown’s lead and spend some time working aboard a Grimsby trawler, but the passage from Rutland Water to the North Sea is a treacherous one and not to be undertaken without the services of an experienced pilot - that may be why it does not appear on many charts. Besides, from what I hear, the Grimsby skippers have all tied up their vessels, left for Norway or become Uber drivers. Some have done all three.

So I arranged instead to be dropped off as soon as I was out of sight of the Quay, and waiting for me on the beach were my old friends the Elves of Rockingham Forest. They had promised to show me the real England - the Ancient England – and I was grateful for the offer.

Their leader, an elven prince named Elrond or Elvis or something like that, told me that we were to travel on foot. "What about the A6 and the A14?" I asked. "We shall have to cross them somewhere." "They won’t trouble us," Elvis replied. "We shall travel by the old roads."

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West. 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary

1 comment:

Matt Pennell said...

This is pretty epic and I don't mind telling you I welled up reading the last sentence. It's almost as if Lord Bonkers has been reading accounts of Shackleton's escape out of the Antarctic pack ice and rowing all the way to South Georgia across the roaring 40s and thought, 'How can I upstage this?'