Lord Bonkers' Diary: Hoping it might be so

Lord Bonkers has made this observation about when Christmas begins before, but as that was in 1990 - before any of you were born - I think he can be forgiven for repeating himself.

As for the rest, I refer the hon. Gentleman to Thomas Hardy's poem The Oxen.

Christmas Eve

To St Asquith’s for the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols. I’m sure I speak for many when I say I do not regard Christmas as having properly begun until I hear the tremulous voice of a choirboy singing the opening verse of ‘Lloyd George Knew My Father’. 

Late in the evening, a fellow in the Bonkers’ Arms announces “Now they are all on their knees,” referring to some legend that the oxen kneel in their stalls at midnight on this very day to welcome the Christ child. The Smithson & Greaves Northern Bitter has been flowing freely, and it does sound Rather Far Fetched, so bets are placed against. 

To ensure fair play, I join a party heading for Home Farm to see what the aforementioned beasts are up to. And – would you believe it? – they are kneeling. I have strong suspicions that the oxen were in on this from the start and will receive a share of the winnings, but say nothing, hoping it might be so. 

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• Two Well-Behaved Orphans with their faces stained green