Saturday, September 10, 2011

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Pointing it at Sandy

A second day at Bonkers Hall

As loyal readers will be aware, I have long been at the forefront of new technology. Was I not the first person in Rutland to have a telephone? (I have to admit that it proved something of a disappointment as it never rang. When I enquired about this failure, I was told it was because no one else in Rutland had a telephone).

Similarly, I was something of a pioneer of television, as I could often be seen casting a fly or gralloching a stag on the popular Bonkers Country programme broadcast from Alexandra Palace before the last war. By popular demand, or at least by my own demand, this show was resurrected when I won the independent television franchise for Rutland in 1955.

Ever one to move with the times, as I flatter myself I have established, I have long been enjoying the test cricket on Sky. I did not pay for a satellite dish, but rather set up a receiver of my own using a wire coat-hanger (Nanny is always throwing them out, saying that only wood will do) and a wok that Cook had taken against (“Nasty foreign thing.”) However, this digital television is another matter entirely, so I decided to call in an expert “aerial erector” (as his business card describes him).

When he arrives at the Hall this morning, he turns out to be an engaging young man. He exclaims over the size of the old place (“I couldn’t be doing with all that dusting”), but does admire my dado in the Breakfast Room. He is also adamant that his is a skilled trade: “It’s not just a matter of pointing it at Sandy and hoping for the best.”

Earlier this week

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