Thursday, April 16, 2015

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Richard III, Twycross Zoo and Foxton Locks

The new issue of Liberator arrives, which means that it is time for another visit to Bonkers Hall.

His lordship's remarks here appear to have influenced my recent column in the Leicester Mercury.

Richard III, Twycross Zoo and Foxton Locks

What scenes we have enjoyed in Leicester this week! The eyes of the world have been upon us as we reintered Richard III – and I know for a fact that more than one envious city mayor has given instructions for all his city’s car parks to be dug up Just In Case. I won’t pretend to have agreed with every detail of the celebrations: whilst I agree it was a nice touch to give the old boy a ride round on the Sunday, I couldn't help feeling that taking him back to the battlefield at Bosworth was a trifle tactless. Couldn't he have gone to Twycross Zoo or Foxton locks instead?

The only sour note was that, on my way to the service, I came upon Polly Toynbee touring the streets of the city on a Fabian 'National Efficiency' Women’s Bicycle waving a megaphone. “Go home, you fools!” she bellowed. "We don’t want a monarchy. We want an elected President like Tony Blair or Gordon Brown or Doctor David Owen of the Continuing SDP." When she stopped and attempted to sell the crowd her latest book A Lot of Figures Showing I am Right About Everything and You Ought to Vote the Way I Tell You, she is pelted with out-of-code pork pies. The citizens of Leicester have much to be proud of.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West, 1906-10.


wolfi said...

Richard III made it to the USA - his curse is on this satirical site:



Jonathan Calder said...

Thanks wolfi!