How we beat Australia

More wit and wisdom from the incomparable Dave Podmore:

You may have heard about "Merlin", the specially developed bowling machine that's been sending down Warney-style leggies to the lads in their pre-match nets.

Well, it's no longer a secret that Dave Podmore is the man responsible for fine-tuning the settings, feeding the balls in, lighting its fags etc, and the results were there for all to see by five o'clock on day one.

Merlin is probably the most realistic bowling machine I've ever come across. After tinkering with it for just a few days I got it to master the zooter, the slider and the googly - it also started sending filthy texts and tried to get off with a photocopier in the office.

Read the full column in last Saturday's Guardian.