Lord Bonkers' Diary: "It’s only a few thousand quid each"

Former Liberal Democrat leaders are often to be found at the Hall. There's Vince "High-Voltage" Cable, Gloria Swinson and Tim Farron, whom Lord Bonkers still suspects, on no firm evidence, of wanting to rip out the pews of St Asquith's and make everyone sing "Shine, Jesus, Shine".

For reasons that are soon explained, Nick Clegg is a rarer visitor.

Wednesday

Another advantage of Meadowcroft being in Cornwall is that it’s now safe to invite Clegg to the Hall. I’m afraid my gardener has never forgiven our former leader for setting light to the collection of cacti he spent so many years gathering from the arid south of Rutland. 

Over dinner, Clegg is his usual candid self: “I’ve been looking at the money people pay artists and writers. It’s only a few thousand quid each, but it adds up, and my plan is that it should go to me instead. I shall help myself to the artists and writers’ work and feed it into a computer, which will jumble it up and produce versions of its own. Obviously, I’ll make these versions free at first, but when all the writers and artists have given up, I’ll be able to charge what I like.” 

I suggest to Clegg that he pay the artists and writers for their work, but he explains that this would kill his business overnight.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• "Death to the Duke of Rutland’s Militia"
• The intelligence services like to recruit orphans