And he looks like Piers Fletcher-Dervish too.
Faced with Lord Laming's report on Baby P, does one laugh or cry? The man who delivered a bureaucratic blizzard of 108 recommendations after Victoria Climbié's death and helped overload a system that failed Baby P was surely not the right man to think of 58 more.
But the reaction of Ed Balls, who appointed him, is even more bizarre. From his desk in Whitehall, the secretary for children, schools and families decrees that all social service directors must be sent off for retraining, as if they were disgraced Chinese officials sent back to the fields during the cultural revolution while Chairman Balls, who would certainly look good in the jacket and cap, acts the role of Mao Zedong.
This is Labour's centralist impulse at work on an almost demented scale.
Yet Ed Balls has a heart and may yet be redeemed. For, asked about his childhood reading by the Wakefield Express a couple of years ago, he remembered:
a great series of kids' detective books by Malcolm Saville called the Lone Pine Adventures, which were all set in the Shropshire hills.