Lord Bonkers' Diary: In the shadow of Pendle Hill

The new issue of Liberator was waiting for me when I got home from work. So it is time to spend another week in the company of Rutland's most popular fictional peer

Monday

A ticklish few days in Pendle have come to an end. You may recall that the Liberal Democrats recently issued a statement condemning without reserve the burning of witches at the stake. I wondered if this was wholly necessary – it is some years since such an incident has taken place even in the Upper Welland Valley – but our people in Pendle (where they have previous in the matter) cut up rough. “There will be leaflets handed out in areas where we are as a party strong and active,” fumes one. “In Pendle I expect the Labour lot will be doing this (we hear they are already planning to do so).”

In the end I managed to bring both sides together and they signed a statement saying “We now call on those on both sides of this argument to return to moderate debate, free of insult and threat and we do so because we believe this is in the interests of our party.” It didn't mean a thing, of course, but what is Liberalism about if it is not about winning local by-elections in the shadow of Pendle Hill?

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West, 1906-10.