Friday, March 07, 2014

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Rabbit in the headlights


Who should I see coming down the Committee Corridor at Westminster but our own Nick Clegg? He sees me too and tries to dive into a hearing on white fish, but I take a manly grip upon his shoulder when he is not halfway into the room. “What this about your supporting the removal of citizenship for people have been convicted of no crime?” I hiss. “I hardly think the Home Secretary would go around persecuting innocent people” he replies, before wrenching himself from my grasp and diving under a table.

Driving home this evening, I am pleased to reach the woods and hills of Rutland. As dusk falls I see a rabbit sitting in the lane in front of me. Expecting it to lollop off as I approach, I do not slow; but it just continues to sit there with a stupid vacant expression on its whiskery face, even when I sound my horn. So I am forced to jam on my brakes and stop in the nick of time, whereupon I give the slow-witted creature a piece of my mind.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West, 1906-10.

Earlier in Lord Bonkers' Diary...

Monday: In the shadow of Pendle Hill
Tuesday: Counting the teaspoons

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